Chistmas Again
by RedsunsetgirL
Summary: Amu hated Christmas so much because of what had happened in the past. who can break the barrier she made around her heart? can a guy break it? Find out the pairings inside ! R
1. Chapter 1

_**april 15 , 2009**_

**TITLE : **Christmas Again

**CHAPTER/S : **FIVE chapters COMPLETE !

**AUTHOR : **RedsunsetgirL

**GENRE : **romance , drama

**PAIRINGS : **who else ? AMUTO

**SYPNOSIS : **Amu hated Christmas so much because of what had happened in the past. who can break the barrier she made around her heart? can a guy break it?

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**RedsunsetgirL : **hello again minna ! i'm back ! this story of mine ---Christmas Again--- was published already using my other pen name ABBYKOI28 but i've only posted the first two chapters of it .. and now , i've edited it and i'm now finished writing this story *claps* .. it's a five chapter story so i hope you'll read it .. *looks around* where's my boY ? have you seen him ?

**BlacksunsetboY : ***suddenly appears* yow minna-san ! i'm back !

**RedsunsetgirL : **whatever ! just do the disclaimer so i could go on with the story

**BlacksunsetboY : **RedsunsetgirL doesn't own SHUGO CHARA but the story CHRISTMAS AGAIN was hers .. kindly hit the green button below .. she'll appreciate it .. and sorry for some wrong grammars *laughs*

**RedsunsetgirL :** shut up ! Lights Camera , ACTION !

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**CHRISTMAS AGAIN**

**- Chapter One : Darkness -**

**by : RedsunsetgirL**

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When she opened her eyes, all she could see was darkness---a never ending darkness. She didn't mind the darkness because she's been living in darkness since she doesn't know.

She loved darkness ever since because no one could see her true feelings---no one could see her hurting.

She heard voices outside her house, voices that came from children and they seem so happy and she knew the reason why.

Today was Christmas, the most special day for every child and at the same time, the day that she hated the most. She never celebrated Christmas since she was three. For her, Christmas was just an ordinary day. It would pass and that's it! She never cared at all.

How could she celebrate and be happy when that's the same day when her mother died---because of her. Her father blamed her on the death of her mother and she hated herself even more because of that.

Her mind could still vividly remember what exactly had happened that time. That time when her bright world turned upside down.

she was three years old when that accident happened. they were at the park that time, celebrating christmas. she's playing with her dolls and she saw a cat near the road. she approached the cat and she run when the cat run. she didn't realized that she's now standing at the middle of the road. she heard a loud noise and the last thing she knew was that she was pushed at the road side.

it was her mother who saved her. but she died because of the impact of the bump. she lived but her mother didn't make it.

at a small age, she could understand what had happened. she knew that everything was all her fault. so many 'if only' popped in her mind. who's the one to be blamed of her mother's death? its her.

she saw how her father suffered because of that accident and that's the reason why she blamed herself even more. she didn't deserve to be happy when her own father was suffering.

and now, it's been fifteen years but she's still hurting badly because of the death of her mother. past was still haunting her. there's a never ending pain, hurt and regret in her heart that could never be erased.

but what hurt her most was the cold treatment coming from her own father. she could understand her father's feeling but she was suffering too! she lost her mother too! and she's too you to cope for the lost.

since that accident, her father became distant and so cold. they never talked since then. no 'hi' or 'hello'. it's as if she didn't exist at all. and she knew, when her mother died, she lost her father too.

she punished herself. she didn't go out her room and every time she's outside her room, she always remain her distance to other people. many tried to befriend her but she shut her heart and her ears. all of them give up except for one person.

how she wished that she could trade place with her mother so that her father would not became like this, so that she would not suffer like this. she knew that it's different if it's her and not her mother. looking at her, they would say that she's cold-hearted but inside, she's melting and she's hurting.

"Amu? are you there? please answer me" she heard the voice coming outside her room and she knew instantly who it was.

her heart could easily find out who it was

"i know you're there so open the door Amu" the person outside commanded

something flipped inside her heart when she heard his musculine and husky voice.

she never bothered to open the door. she didn't even moved a bit so the person outside kept on knocking. then, after a few minutes of knocking and getting no response, he stopped.

she sighed in relief when she heard his footsteps going away. she's relieved at the same time, sad. it always happened every time, somebody would come and call her but eventually, they would go away and leave her behind. she's fine with it actually. she wanted to be alone in the first place.

but still, deep inside her heart, she wanted someone to stay with her, to be with her. but, who will do that? the answer lies in these words---no one.

so she made a facade. she showed them that she didn't need them, that she wanted to be alone. but, that's a lie---a damn lie that she have to stand all the way.

"i'm fine alone anyway" she murmured

***to be continue***

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**RedsunsetgirL : **hope you like the first chapter ! i'll try to post the next chapter by tomorrow .. *smiles*

**BlacksunsetboY : **don't forget to hit the green button below guys !

**RedsunsetgirL : **jya mata ne !

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my inspiration in writing this Fanfic .. CASSIS by The GazettE

**CASSIS**

**by : The GazettE**

Aa Zutto kurikawa shiteta zutto kanashimi masete a bakaridatte  
Haa Kittoanatasaemo kizutsukete boku wa ugokenu  
Mama

Anatani furerukotoga naze konnani kurushiinodesuka?

Kitto onaji koto wo kurikaeshite anata wo ushinatteshimaunoga kowakattakara

Yorisoukotode nuguoutoshita wasurekirenakattahi wo  
Anata wa nanimo kikazuni konote wo nigittekuretane

Ashita anatano kimochi ga hanaretemo  
Kitto kawarazuni aishiteiru  
Ashita anatani boku ga mienakutemo  
Kitto kawarazu aishiteiru  
I will walk together, the future not promised,yeah..  
It keeps walking together, to future in which you are...

Tsuraikotosae wasurerukurai  
Anata wo omotteiru  
Aenaiyoru wo kazoerutabini  
Kogarerumune  
Kakechigai no sabishisatsunoru douka hitorikiridenakanaide

Donnani hanareteitemo shinjiaeru futarideiyou

Douka konomama warateitai  
Anata wo kizutsukesasenaide  
Toki ga tatsutabi usureteitta  
Annaomoi kurikaeshitakunai  
Ashita anatano kimochiga hanaretemo  
Kitto kawarazu aishiteiru  
Ashita anatani bokuga mienakutemo  
Kitto kawarazu aishiteiru  
Douka bokudake wo mitsumeteite (I will walk together..)  
Douka konotega tokenuyou (I will walk together..)

I will walk together, the future not promised,yeah..  
It keeps walking together, to future in which you are...  
Haa aa..to future in which you..are...are~..


	2. Chapter 2

_**april 22 , 2009**_

**TITLE : **Christmas Again

**CHAPTER/S : **FIVE chapters COMPLETE !

**AUTHOR : **RedsunsetgirL

**GENRE : **romance , drama

**PAIRINGS : **who else ? AMUTO

**SYPNOSIS : **Amu hated Christmas so much because of what had happened in the past. who can break the barrier she made around her heart? can a guy break it?

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**RedsunsetgirL : **here's the chapter two ! hope you'd like it ! kindly hit the green button below ! mwuahugsz ! he-he sorry fot the wait . and kindly read my other ficz . sankyuu !

**BlacksunsetboY : **hey you all! review review okay?! this sucks! RedsunsetgirL doesn't own SHUGO CHARA. only the story CHRISTMAS AGAIN. READ AND REVIEW!

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**CHRISTMAS AGAIN**

** - Chapter TWO : Holding Back -**

**by : RedsunsetgirL**

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Then, after a minute of silence, she heard another footsteps. then suddenly, the door opened and the man who opened it entered the room.

she was blinded by the sudden light and the man did noticed it so he quickly closed the door.

He took a step forward, to close the distance between them. and she felt something warm in her heart. that's the first time that someone made a move to be this so close to her. but what can she expect with this guy? it's so like him. he's the only person who never leave her even if her own father abandoned her.

"merry christmas Amu" he whispered, then he showed his breathtaking, mouth-watering smile that she love ever since.

she wanted to smile at him but, she couldn't and she must not do it. so, she didn't respond at him

"it's so dark in here" he then said

"what do you care huh?" she replied quickly

_it's better this way. it's better to act than to be hurt again_

"i care for you Amu, very much because i love you" he said while looking directly at her eyes.

she wanted to be happy because the one he loves, love her too. but, something was holding her back. how could this guy love her when her own father couldn't love her even just for a bit?

"i don't need your damn care. and most of all, your useless love. i don't need anyone" she hissed and she felt her hear contracted because of what she had said

"it's better to tell a lie. it's better this way" she said to herself

she saw how hurt and pain crossed his eyes and for a moment, she wanted to say that she didn't mean what she had said but she held back.

"why are you like this Amu? why are you pushing me away?" he asked gently

"i don't know what you're talking about" she said flatly

"i love you Amu and i know you feel the same way too. i can feel it. but something was holding you back and i want to know what was that Amu. you can trust me" he said sincerely

she felt something tugged her heart. it's the first time that someone showed to her that she's being loved. it's the first time that someone cared for her so damn much.

she looked down to hide the tears that was now starting to form on her eyes

"go away!" she said, her voice weak

he sighed in defeat and looked at her with pleading eyes

"i would leave you if you'll come with me and celebrate the Christmas together, at the park" he said

"i don't want to" she answered coldly

"please Amu, just this one and promise, i would never bother you again" he pleaded

she wanted to come with him. she wanted to celebrate and be happy just like when she's still three years old but she can't. she can't be happy. she can't be selfish

as much as she wanted to be with him, as much as she wanted to be the old Amu again, it's not that easy

he noticed her expressions and he whispered

"what's holding you back Amu? for a moment, i saw in your face that you wanted to go but then, it change"

"i don't deserve to be happy" she murmured to herself but he heard her

"what do you mean Amu? anyone deserve to be happy!" he said

"anyone deserve to be happy except me! i don't deserve to be happy! i don't, i don't!" she shouted as tears were now falling on her cheeks

She looked down so that he would not see her.

he hold her chin up and looked straightly into her eyes

"tell me what's wrong Amu. tell me please. let me help you." he begged as he wiped her tears using his own hand

there's a battle inside her mind and her heart. a part of her wanted to give in but a part was also stopping her.

"i can't tell it! i don't want anybody's pity!" she said to herself

***to be continue***

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**RedsunsetgirL : **hope you like it ! i'll try to post the next chapter later .. . review please ! sankyuu !

**BlacksunsetboY : **don't be shy to hit the green button below!

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